In 2020, I read "Principles: Life and Work" written by Ray Dalio, the founder of Bridgewater Hedge Fund, which gave me great inspiration. First, a principled person can operate more freely in life and work, and will not easily dodge or be involved in the storm when faced with challenges. Second, if you want to establish your own operating principles at work (for example: my coaching philosophy), you must first clarify the principles for your personal life (for example: my personal core values).
I began to observe the choices I made in my daily life, especially those that were difficult and had no standard answer, those that ultimately brought great rewards, and those that left a special mark on my heart. Gradually, the following life rules gradually took shape, and I found that their coaching concepts were no different from mine. The difference was only in applying them to myself or helping clients apply them to them.
第一條：面對自己，誠實＆溫柔
靈魂教練創始人 Denise Linn 說過：「靈魂愛真實。」(The Soul Love the Truth.)
直面自己的不安與恐懼，當下是不舒服的，但是，長遠來說，是完全值得的！它能讓靈魂感到輕盈自在，帶給我們長時間、持久性的自由與喜悅，當我們可以完整接納此刻的真實，如其所是，心是飽滿的。
這會是一個學習與轉化的過程，有時候舊習慣會絕地反攻，需要的則是對自己的溫柔。你會怎麼對待一個剛出生的嬰兒？就用等同的愛呵護自己。
第二條：面對世界，共好＆臣服
面對他人，除了你贏我輸，我輸你贏之外，「相信會有雙贏共好的答案」總會推動我多想一下，不要懶惰，不要被慣性控制，是否有把自己的思考維度拉高的機會？對於共好的理解有一個陷阱，很多人以為共好就是在衝突中各退一步，取得一個中間值。但往往這麼做反而是雙輸，兩方都沒有從互動中感受到更多的能量。我認爲共好就是沒有一方是委屈的，即使那代表，有時候我們必須對這個關係說不。
來到我們面前的生命體驗，有時和我們的個人偏好有所不同，和我們的期待有所不同，但相信這一切，不是得到，就是學到，這就是臣服。對於臣服的理解也有一個陷阱。臣服不代表去合理化你的受苦，跟自己說我就是這樣的人、我不可能改變的、這就是我的命等等。一旦臣服了，感覺會是放鬆敞開的，如果你的感覺仍然是痛苦的，一定有其他選擇。
第三條：面對未知，相信自己的選擇
第三條原則對我而言是最困難的，因為過去的人生裡無意識中接收了各種「標準答案」、各種「我跟你說」，導致在面對未知時，會下意識對自己各種獨特的想法說出：不可能、做不到、不可以。
你相信什麼，就會看見什麼。你看見什麼，就會顯化什麼。如果不相信自己，就是放棄了讓自己的不平等優勢被發揮的機會。
I invite you to calm down and think about your own principles.
Can you write down three of your own principles right now? If not, think back and think about the three most difficult decisions you have made in your life. From the key reasons behind these three decisions, you can deduce what you value most, and that is your principle.
如果我的三條原則讓你產生共鳴，歡迎你來體驗看看莎賓的服務。：）
